Grief Comes in Many Shapes and Sizes

Over the past few weeks, I've been grieving the loss of our dog, Bernie.

It's not always the big moments that catch me off guard. More often, it's the ordinary ones. Reaching for his leash before remembering it's no longer there. Walking through the house and noticing the quiet. Packing away his toys, his bed, and the cupboard full of all the little things that had become part of our daily routine.

Those moments have reminded me that grief isn't just about missing someone. It's also about mourning the life, the routines, and the rhythms that quietly become part of who we are.

As I've been reflecting on all of this, I've realized how often we limit grief to the death of someone we love. While that is certainly one of life's deepest losses, grief is so much broader than that.

Grief comes in many shapes and sizes.

It can come with the end of a marriage or a friendship. It can arrive after the loss of a job, a diagnosis you never expected, or the realization that your life no longer looks the way you thought it would. Sometimes we grieve the future we imagined for ourselves. Sometimes we grieve the future we imagined for someone we love.

All of those losses deserve to be acknowledged.

Yet we often tell ourselves we should simply move on because "it's not as bad as..." We compare our pain to someone else's and convince ourselves that what we're feeling somehow doesn't count.

But grief isn't a competition.

It's simply our heart responding to loss.

I've come to believe that one of the kindest things we can do for ourselves is to acknowledge what we're grieving instead of minimizing it. To pause long enough to say, "This mattered to me." Because if it mattered, its absence will naturally leave an ache.

That doesn't mean we stay there forever.

It means we honor what we're feeling while continuing to move forward with compassion for ourselves.

Perhaps that's also why kindness matters so much.

The person standing in line beside us may be grieving something we'll never know about. A marriage that is ending. A parent whose memory is fading. A dream that didn't unfold the way they hoped. A beloved pet. A difficult diagnosis. Or simply a season of life they weren't ready to leave behind.

We rarely know what someone else is carrying.

And maybe that's the invitation.

To be a little more patient.

A little more compassionate.

A little more gentle with ourselves and with one another.

Because grief comes in many shapes and sizes.

And, sooner or later, every one of us will carry it.